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KRILLco. Online Ordering

If you provide your e-mail here, KRILLco. will notify you of updates to this site. In addition, you will recieve hundreds of e-mail offers to loose weight and work from home.

E-MAIL : 

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 WHICH FLAVOR DO YOU PREFER (SUBJECT TO AVAILABLILITY):
Oceanic     Picante     Teriyaki  
Check more than one option to recieve a mixed-flavor pack!

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 SELECT A QUANTITY:
Choose one: Half Ton, Full Ton, Two Tons, Five Tons, Lifetime Supply (Four Tons)
Not responsible for damage caused to your loading dock/driveway by krill tonnage.

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 SELECT A SIZE:
Choose one: Standard, Bulky, Giant, Mutant (must sign liability waiver)
Absolutely not responsible for damage caused to this or other planets by mutant krill.

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 SPECIAL HANDLING INSTRUCTIONS:


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 NOTE: All online orders will have their totals confirmed after you enter your credit card number and name of oldest offspring.

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Remember! All KRILLco brand krill are shipped live!

Thank you for shopping online with KRILLco.!








X /19 Giant Mutant Krill Liability Waiver

I the undersigned do hereby agree to hold KRILLco, its officers, employees, and stockholders harmless for any and all damage to property or persons by product(s) purchased from the aforementioned company, hereby noted as the "X/19 Krill" or "Giant Mutant Krill" or simply "Mutant Krill". I will provide a safe containment area for my Mutant Krill as specified by KRILLco with adequate signage around this area in thirty-five (35) languages, including braille, warning of all dangers posed by both the electric fence and the ungodly creatures held within, as per KRILLco's guidelines.

I understand that the said Krill will weigh up to or in excess of 650 pounds and possesses a high level of intelligence, the strength of five (5) elephants, and will be completely armored (hereby stated as bulletproof in the case of most civilian armaments). By taking possession of this highly radioactive and dangerous creature I hold KRILLco innocent of all damages thereby caused, either with criminal intent or by accident. I understand that I have been warned of the extreme danger presented by any Giant Mutant Krill ordered by me and assume full responsibility for my actions.

Furthermore, having been explicitly told that ordering this product is tantamount to suicide given the incredible danger and murderous tendencies of this X/19 Krill, I hereby acknowledge that it is my own fault when these supernatural monsters break free of their containment and launch themselves on a murderous rampage. Even as I flee for my very life with these soulless mutant engines of destruction closing fast on me, I will not blame KRILLco in those last few remaining moments I have on this Earth. I am an idiot with suicidal tendencies, it's all my fault, I was warned, I forced KRILLco to send this/these monster(s) to me. May God have mercy on my pitiful soul.

 By clicking the above button to submit your order, you are agreeing to the terms of this waiver. You are also agreeing to disclose nothing about the X/19 Krill to anyone in any recognized government of the world, nor to the postal service, nor to your parents.


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