Bingo's Song

This is a song that I wrote to cheer myself up when I was trying to cure one of my rescues , Bingo, of the uncharming habit of eating his own feces. It's not easy to be funny about copraphagia, but a few of you with sufficiently gross sense of humor may enjoy this song.

SITE INDEX	BOUVIER	RESCUE	DOG CARE
PUPPY REARING	TRAINING	PROBLEMS	WORKING DOGS
BOOKS	VERSE	IMAGES	MISCELLANEOUS

BINGO'S SONG

(to the tune of "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story)

by Pam Green, copyright 1993

Have you met my big black dog, Bingo?
He's got a little problem or two.
It's something not lyric to sing, oh !
It's something he does with his doo.

He smells ghastly, he smells loathsome.
He smells loathsome, disgusting , and vile !
It's unwholesome :
Copraphagia has spoiled his smile !
la, la, la, la, la

You can tell he's coming from a mile away
Except against a strong counter-wind.
You can tell he's there in the night or day,
And you'll notice the sin that he's sinned !

He's appalling, he's alarming.
He's abhorrent, aberrant, and weird !
It's not charming :
Copraphagia has soiled his beard !
la, la, la, la, la

See the big black Bouvie at the farmhouse door,
The one with the shit-eating grin.
Though he begs to enter and his eyes implore,
Do you wonder we don't ask him in ?

He smells shitty, oh so shitty.
He's a dismal, disgusting disgrace!
It's not pretty :
When he offers kisses towards your face!
He smells shitty, oh so shitty.
That our city has banned him from town :
They've banned smoking, nuclear weapons,
And his shit-streaked frown.

(I live in the rural hinterlands outside of Davis, an ultra-civilized university town that actually does have a municipal ordinance banning smoking and one banning nuclear weapons within the city limits.)

site author Pam Green	copyright 2003
created 1993	revised 8/09/03
return to top of page	return to Site Index